Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Won't let it happen

After a long weekend away from work in San Francisco. I went back to work Tuesday night, 8p.m.-4a.m.. My pants felt tight for the first time in a while. I don't want to go back to my old pant size, I already gave them away. Don't want to spend money on new clothes right away either. I got away from my shakes on a regular basis and I have decided to go back to them. I know it works. I am trying to mix up the recipes I have though. Today I mixed in some H3O with my instant shake at work. I got the idea from another distributor. It tastes pretty good. A good change from the basic. Picture below.
Still no exercise for a while. I planned on running today but I got distracted with the credit card companies. And talking to my parents. Unfortunately my great aunt has pancreatic cancer. She's 95 but I would like to see her again before she passes on. She lives in the suburbs of LA and I live in Las Vegas. My parents want to come out and visit me and visit her at the same time. I decided to send her a card at least until I get a chance to visit her.

3a.m. at work- Cooked carrots, scrambled eggs with pepper on top, some kind of beef and cabbage, a few BBQ chips, water with lemon in it.
11p.m. at work I had an instant shake with Orangeade H3O added in.

Here is the shaker I use.

Plate number two at the Santa Fe Casino buffet on Sunday night with my roommate.

Plate number one at the Santa Fe casino Sunday night.

Tried to hold myself over before the buffet with a cup of applesauce.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Weight + Life

Its amazing how things tie in together. My life is spiraling right now, mostly downhill it feels like. At the same time, my weight keeps going up slightly and my compulsions for food keep going up. The more I feel bad the more I eat, drink, gamble, go to message parols, etc. etc.. I felt better after getting back from my trip to San Francisco. But it is feeling shortlived. As soon as I got back my car's ebrake broke. I overdrafted on my bank accounts. I went to a buffet with my roommate. I skipped the gym. I didn't gamble, which is good.
I feel worn out mentally and I feel like giving up on things. I sometimes just want to go back to eating whatever I want all the time. It really takes a lot to get myself to feel better about myself to want to improve my weight and health right now.
Weight up= Depression, Self Loaving
Weight even= feeling ok
Weight loss/Exercise= I am ready to take on life and make myself feel better

I know this is quit simplistic but right now its the way I feel. I guess what keeps me going is the belief and knowledge that if I take my herbalife products, exericse and eat moderately healthy, I will lose weight, because I know it works. I also know that I have a dream to travel more, create my own life, and be home for holidays, if I do my business more with herbalife. The business is something that keeps me thinking about others a little more and not as much about myself. But I still have to be a good role model. And I still need to feel some confidence to do it.

I want to cry and hide today.
Hide from:
My house possible getting foreclosed on
My 8 credit cards that call daily and want their $75,000
The $50,000 my father lent me two years ago for my house
The feeling that my best life was in 2002 when I was with my girlfriend for one year, haven't found a relationship like that since, and she doesn't want to be with me.
My dirty house and how I need to clean it
Missing my extended family in Utica, NY

Depression, Lack of Self Worth= increase weight

Sorry about the pitty post, but just feeling it right now.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Back to Vegas from San Fran

Well I am back to Vegas from my trip to San Francisco. Its a little after 11p.m. right now. I took the night off from work. I had a great time with my friends in San Fran. Its a very interesting city. We went to two baseball games, several art museums, a boat ride around the Golden Gate Bridge and Alcatras, and went to the Aquarium. Had some great food and went to some bars at night. Also went on the Cable Cars, which was interesting.

On my way back on the plane I met a girl that also blogs. She was actually in town for the blogher convention. We had a good conversation on the plane, while our tv wasn't working. I took Virgin America, which is an awesome plane! Even more so when the tv's work. Her blog is-

Here are some pics from the trip:

Salmon Crepe, salad and potatoes.
My friends and I at the Sushi restaurant. Thats me on the far right in the white shirt.

Love Fisherman's Wharf, best part of the trip.

Golden Gate bridge.

Irish Coffeee with Butterscotch liquir instead. It was soo good! I gotta leave a tip everytime, I work in the service industry. I couldn't figure out if the bartender was a guy or girl, needless to say San Francisco is interesting.

Waffle with blueberries on top. It tasted good but a little heavy.

At the baseball game.

Clam Chowder in a bread bowl at teh baseball game, soo good!!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Crohn's & Colitis Foundation of America?

After I ran the Boilermaker 15K Road Race in July back home in Utica, NY I decided to sign up for my first Half Marathon here in Las Vegas in December and I signed up right away so I would not chicken out. Well since July I really haven't trained much, just a little bit of running here and there. I also have not been getting out of the house much and meeting new people. I have been single for a long time with occasional hookups or dates that seem to go nowhere. Anyways thats another subject, so I thought about joining the benefit for the Las Vegas Rock and Roll Marathon and training with other people. This year its the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation benefit. I found out today that you have to raise $1500 for it. I have seen on other blogs people put up there website and people tend to give for the cause. I am a little worried though, because I have had my website, for like 9 months now and I've only gotten one sale so far. If I can't get sales on there, can I get people to donate? I really don't know much about Crohn's and Colitis, the guy asked me on the phone today if I had a cause and I was just thinking I just want to meet some new people, get a trainer, and do something for a reason. One of my other issues is, I work nights, M-F, 8p.m.-4a.m., and usually sleep by 6a.m.. Well their trainings are Saturday mornings at 6a.m. and 7a.m.. I would have to suck it up and stay up and run after work. I have done it many times before, but its still a challenge.
What does everyone think? Should I do it?

Breakfast at 5p.m., when I finially got my butt out of bed. Its soo hard getting out of bed when you are depressed and don't want to face life. And nobody is forcing me.

I have been a little constipated lately, soo I decided to get my herbalife Apple Fiber Complex out and have some. 5 Grams of Soluble and Insoluble Fiber, whatever that means.

I don't know much about Weight Watchers except what I read on your blogs. But it must be healthy if its on their plan. Only problem is I kept eating one after another. Not because there that great, I've had much better brownies, just bored and watching TV after work. Late night snacking kills me.

Had like 4 of these after I did my blog, while I was watching TV at 5a.m. yesterday morning. Thats what I do when I'm bored and depressed.

2a.m. Dinner at work. Eggs, Pork I think, Turkey and chicken bits and some BBQ chips.

My herbalife tablet box that I carry around soo that I don't forget to take my herbalife vitamins with my meal. When I am good about it, it makes a big difference for me. Took two total control before my lunch and it helped a lot.

Snack at work: herbalife soup mix, only 70 calories and 15 grams of protein, mix with hot water.

11p.m. Lunch at work. Fried Chicken, BBQ chips, some kind of tomato salad mix.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Sunday and Monday food log with pics

This was what I eat late Sunday night before I went to bed. I finished off 3/4 of the cheese and 3/4 of the box of wheat thins. I mix the cheese with the sauce. This was my worst mistake of the day.
What I have been drinking a lot of lately. 1 cup has 90 calories, 8 grams of protein.

Herbalife Tea, burns 80 calories a cup and helps control your appetite. Has caffeine in it. This is what I have been drinking when I wake up in the morning.

I woke up at 5p.m. on Monday and I had this for Breakfast.

Had this at work. Cooked carrots, scrambled eggs and chicken and peppers with water. It seems healthy but I think I eat too much because I was way too stuffed after.

Herbalife Shake with Orangeade H30 Drink Mix from Herbalife. Just mix it with water and shake. First time I've mixed it with the Orangeade H3O drink mix, it was pretty good. Has only 180 calories and a ton of nutrition packed in it.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Love the accent, check out this video

My friend Caley from the blog- is trying to win a trip. Check out this cool video her boyfriend and her made. I love their accent.

Weight In

I like how IHOP has some nutrional labels on the back of their menu. I have Whole Wheat Pancakes, Scrambled Egg with some kind of low fat subsitute.
The top of the parking lot at Treasure Island casino after I lost a $1000 playing Pai Gow Tiles, how stupid am I sometimes.

Food at work. Broccoli, sausage I think, and some potatoes with water.

Herbalife protein bar.

Turkey Wrap at Timbers Bar and Grill with a Blue Moon beer with an orange in it. I didn't have all of the fries which is good.

Well, I slept in and missed my weight loss challenge on Sunday. However I still went over and weighed in. Even though, I had a terrible week with alcohol, didn't exercise at all until Sunday, I still didn't gain much, 177.6lbs last week, 178lbs this week. I have been very depressed and down on my luck of late. It is very hard being single, family is all in NY, doing my full time job at the casino M-F 8p.m.-4a.m. as a casino dealer. Working part time around it with my business with herbalife. My house I don't know what's going to happen with it, haven't paid it in months. Haven't paid the credit cards in months. My credit is down the tube. I have been dealing with it, but this last week just was very tough, everything got to me. I drank, I gambled, and I eat(not as bad as I have in the past when I feel like this). I have been trying the dating scene on Eharmony, Singlenet and Plenty of Fish. Nothing much happening yet. But it gives me hope. I find it soo hard to date with the hours I work. And maybe how the city is, who knows. I am shy at first, I never really feel comfortable going up to a girl at a bar.
Anyways, I plan on catching up on everyone's blog soon. I am going to San Francisco Thursday through Sunday this week. I will take some pics, while I am there.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

New Camera, Pics

Food at work. Plus herbalife raspberry tea. I cut 1/3 off the sandwich before I started to eat it, to cut down how much I eat. I threw the 1/3 piece out. Me just playing around with my new camera on break at work.
herbalife chicken soup mix, 70 calories, 15 grams of protein, ideal snack.

Cut the sandwich in half and threw away half. Some vegetables and water with lemons in it. This was at work also. I think people were wondering why I am taking pictures of my food, lol.

Got this recipe from Men's health. Its called the abs burger. I brought it to my weight loss challenge on Sunday and cooked it up and served it. Everyone seemed to really like it. Basic ingredients, 1lbs of meat, onions, oatmeal, spinach, mexican blend low fat cheese.

Where I bought my Casio Exilim camera. I am new to putting up pictures on here. How do most of you do it? I am going to try to do more videos too.

Cool article on exercise

A recent Time magazine article, "Why Exercise Won't Make You Thin," is misleading at best. Exercise is critical to losing weight and maintaining a healthy weight, especially when paired with healthy eating habits.
Countless studies, numerous experts who study exercise, and the millions of people who have lost weight all attest to the fact that working out works.
Exercise zaps belly fat
Regular moderate to high intensity aerobic exercise has the greatest impact on reducing abdominal fat -- the dangerous fat that increases your risk of diabetes and heart disease.
Exercise controls calories
You need to burn more calories than you consume in order to lose weight. Regular exercise uses up excess calories that would otherwise be stored as fat.
Exercise keeps lost pounds MIA
Ninety percent of people who have successfully lost weight and kept it off for a year do about an hour of physical activity a day.
Exercise boosts metabolism
You'll lose fat when you diet without exercising, but you'll also lose muscle, which means you'll burn fewer calories. The more muscle you have, the higher your metabolism and the more calories you'll burn.
Exercise does more than the scale shows
If you gain 3 pounds of lean muscle and lose 4 pounds of fat, you've actually experienced a 7-pound improvement in your body condition, despite the scale only showing 1 pound of weight loss.
Exercise curbs emotional eating
Working out has been proven time and time again to help regulate mood, which has a direct effect on people who eat when they're stressed or upset.
Exercise creates a healthy chain reaction
Healthy habits tend to cluster together. When people make positive changes, like getting more exercise, they tend to work on other health improvements as well, such as eating better.
Exercise brings on the fun
Rock-climbing is more exciting than eating a celery stick. That's why it's sometimes easier to be active to stay slim than to maintain a strict diet.
Exercise stops hunger
People who exercise and diet are actually less hungry than those who only diet, according to at least one study.
Exercise increases energy
Regular physical activity increases stamina by boosting your body's production of energy-promoting neurotransmitters. That gives you even more motivation to get moving and shed pounds

Monday, September 14, 2009

Monday morning

Well I weighed in at my weight loss challenge and I gained 2 lbs this week. With all of the alcohol and the extra eating at the bar late at night and the lack of exercise this week, I am not surprised. I started the week very well but I got very depressed and down about my life and had trouble looking at the bright spots. I went on a binge in many ways, I gambled a lot and got lucky I didn't lose much. I went to the bar many times, Thursday - Sunday. I went to an asian massage parlor, helps a little but not much.
At the weight loss challenge, after the challenge, a few of them came over to my house to get some herbalife products and we talked a bit and they made me feel better. Essentially they said you have soo much too offer, don't give up and keep your chin up. I mentioned how my biggest struggle with losing weight is my emotions, wheather you like them or not, the herbalife products really help control my appetite a lot, but my emotions still get in the way a lot. If I am depressed about relationships, my business, my job as a casino dealer etc., I binge by drinking, eating, gambling and sleeping and ignorning life. That is why I haven't blogged in a few days.
On a side not, I joined, lets see how is pans out for me. I paid for three months.
Hope everyone had a great weekend. I will go to all of your blogs when I start feeling a little better and more motivated. I love reading them, but depression kills everyhing.

Friday, September 11, 2009


Lots of Alocohol after work. Very stressed and disappointed I am still single and have no love life whatsover.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Less Late Night Snacking

Well I got out of work at 3a.m., an hour earlier than normal if you can believe that. Casino Dealer in Las Vegas, what do you expect. Nothing really interesting on the dice game tonight. On my way home I was soo hungry, forgot to take my snack defense before I left work, I really wanted to go to Timbers, have a beer, gamble and have a turkey wrap but I got to thinking about what Lisa from Lisa Eats too much Pizza mentioned about her struggles with snacking late at night and I said you know what I can do this! I got home had two tablets of my snack defense and made a shake, which is about 180 calories and I went on the computer to destract myself and you know what, it worked. I feel full and satisfied now and I didn't consume over 500 calories, like I would have at Timbers. I also am having a glass of wine now, lol. But not too bad. My biggest problem is snacking a lot when I get out of work. I am stressed, tired and sick of being a dealer from time to time. I also was thinking about my weight loss challenge on Sunday and how I don't want to dissapoint people that believe in me.

Food Log for Wednesday:

Breakfast: Cereal

Lunch: Herbalife Shake

Dinner: Half a sandwich(that was a challenge), 1/4 plate of beef, 1/4 plate of vegetables

Late night Snack: Herbalife Shake

1 glass of wine

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Food Log for Tuesday

Well not much to say, so I will just put my food log in for now.

Breakfast: Cereal

Lunch: Shake

Snack: Salad with Ranch Dressing, 2 pieces of bread

Dinner: Fried Orange Chicken, 1 piece of Glazed Chicken 1/2 plate of green beans, fried rice
(felt like crap for 30 minutes after eating this)

Snack: 2 100 calorie packs of Lorna Doone cookies, 1 cup of milk

2 beers (need something to relieve my stress)

Tuesday, September 8, 2009


Well I got out of work at 4a.m. and really wanted to go to the bar and have some food and drink. But instead I came home and had Niteworks and two 80 calorie yogurts.

Food Log for the day:

1 English Muffin with Peanut Butter and shredded cheese


Wild Berry Herbalife Shake with Orange Juice and Pineapple Juice

Watermelon, Mac and Cheese, 1 piece of grilled chicken, and corn

Herbalife Chicken Soup Mix

Potato Salad, Scrambled Eggs, Broccoli

2 Yogurts, and a Niteworks

Monday, September 7, 2009

Diane Blog got me thinking

I was reading Diane blog-

and it got me thinking about my week and weekend. She mentioned how she was doing soo well and then blew it with eating a bunch of miracle wip. I feel like this is the way I feel a lot of the time. I do well for a little while and then boom, something happens and I mess up. But the real matter is how well you respond to it.
Diane mentions- "My point of this post is that we all slip up and mess up. I seem to more than most, yet I can still lose weight. I know I'm going to make goal in spite of these continual slip ups."

While I was home in NY, I gained weight. I came back on Monday and was shocked by the 7lbs I gained. I weighed myself before I went to bed, but still. I got up on Tuesday and my mission was to lose as much of that weight as possible this week. The week went well for the most part, but I did have my slip ups. First it was wheat thins late at night and in the morning. Then on Saturday I went out with a friend and gambled with her(crazy up and down streak of cards) and I drank a ton and got loaded. I was soo frustrated with the fact that she is perfectly fine being just friends and nothing more and I am attracted to her, soo it makes it soo hard for me to turn my libido off around her. We got in a text message fight after I left about it. Not to sidebar, but I think thats how I respond, I eat and drink. I went to a bar after I left the casino and had more drinks and a Turkey Wrap with french fries.

Today, Sunday, I weighed in at my weight loss challenge and I had actually still lost the 7lbs since Monday. I couldn't believe it. I knew I worked hard, went to the gym almost all week and I eat good most of the time, but I thought my mess ups with carry me down. The point I am making as Diane is, we all have our ups and downs. Its how we respond to failure that is going to determine our health and wellbeing. I have heard you only fail, when you don't learn anything from it.

Found this new cool site,

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Facebook comment, frustration

On facebook yesterday, I wrote on my wall, and put the link to this blog and asked if anyone had good suggestions for improving my blog. Well a friend of mine from college, we were both in the same fraternity, wrote this:
"find the box closest to your house...I have been reading your postings for months and I have reached my breaking point. One solid month of this plus eating meat, veggies, nuts, and some fruit, you will never bitch about weighht loss or whatever for the rest of your life. Man up brother! If you need direction call or email me..."

It really hit me. I read it at work on my break on my phone and I couldn't stop thinking about it and why he said it. I can't figure out if he's being an asshole or he is just think he knows everything about working out and nutrition because he is part of the Fire Department in NY. In the comment is also has the website, which I am not sure what thats about. As far as I can tell unless your in boat camp or something, why would anyone go through that voluntary. I am all about exercise, but I need to make it fun otherwise I won't do it.

I think some people just don't want to think about nutriotion or exercise and hate it when I put things up about the subject on facebook and twitter. I did get a couple comments from fellow bloggers which cherred me up.

Food Log for the day:
4 cups of fat free milk
2 cups of of wheat thins with cheese and sauce dip

Wild Berry Shake with Orange Juice

Chicken Soup Mix

2 pieces of Grilled Chicken

1 cup of 1% milk
1 100 calorie packs of Lorna Doone

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Quick Update

Well I got home from work and even though I did my food log for the day, I just was too tired to write it on here. Then as I was watching tv, I started munching on wheat things, and before you know it the box was empty. Ugh.
I went to the gym today even though I was sore from seeing my trainer yesterday. Today so far I had a shake with my tablets, two english muffins with peanut butter and rasberries on top, hmm soo good.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Smoothie, Shake mixers?

What are your favorite things to add to a smoothie/shake?

Some of mine are:
Peanut Butter
Chocolate Chips

Scale, sad

Well I got on the scale yesterday and it said 182. Up 10lbs since I left for NY. I am sad and frustrated. When I was home, I just said to myself, I want to enjoy time with family and not think about my weight, my business with herbalife or anything. I did run 4 times while I was home, maybe more. But all of the homemade food, pizza's, wings, and alcohol really got to me. I put on my vest for work yesterday and wow did it feel tight. My weight loss challenge meets Sunday, I am not looking forward to showing that weight in front of everyone. I will do my best to keep things in gear the rest of the week.
While I was home, I did my first video and I posted it on youtube and also on my website-, I did a video for this blog today before my run, but I can't seem to figure out how to get it on the computer.

Today was a good day. I started my food log again.

Breakfast: 2 Egg McMuffins with whole wheat, turkey and a little bit of cheese, and one cup of fat free milk
Ran 45 minutes
Lunch: Shake
Dinner: Shake
Late Night Snack: 3 pieces of Deli Sliced Turkey, Cup of Wheat Thins
112 ounces of water